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Least You Should Drink: 4oz of Red Wine

Least red wine drinkers will rejoice upon hearing the news–again–that red wine shall make you live longer and allow you to dance the Mambo when you’re 90.

Recent studies have shown that a natural ingredient of red wine called “resveratrol” is responsible for allowing laboratory couch potato mice to run a mouse marathon without previous exercise or training. Drug companies are now trying to repeat that success by inventing an anti-aging pill. Meanwhile, scientists are personally taking resveratrol, buying it over the counter from their local vitamin shoppes.

However, the Least you really need to know about this wonderful but rather long but excellent article is: Read more »

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Least FAQs

Q. Who are the Least Brothers?

A. Tommy and Johnny Least are fraternal twin brothers who emigrated from England, where they were first diagnosed with Short Attention Span Reader’s Syndrome (SASRS), a sinister disorder that affects one’s ability to enjoy current news without getting bored or horribly depressed.

When Tommy and Johnny realized that they were doomed to skim the news and other important information for the rest of their lives, they naturally came to America and created Leastuknow.com for themselves and the other 250 million sufferers of SASRS.

Q. Do the Least Brothers really exist?

A. Yes! Well…let’s put it this way: When you were younger, you believed in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the Tooth Fairy, did you not? Later, you discovered that all of these people were in fact your Mother. In the same way, Tommy and Johnny do indeed exist. In fact, dear, we’re actually your mother again. Please call home.

Q. Do I have Short Attention Span Reader’s Syndrome (SASRS)?

A. It’s quite simple to diagnose SASRS. All you have to do is go to a news site and read the top story. If you can read the entire story without skipping paragraphs, then you are safe. However, if you simply look at the pictures, read the captions, and perhaps the first few sentences, then unfortunately you are one of the many sufferers of SASRS. Too bad for you.

Q. I have taken your test and discovered that I suffer from SASRS. Help! How can I obtain compensation from my insurance company, the government, my employer, or my parents for this tragic disability?

A. Sadly, the only way to monetarily benefit from having SASRS is to convince Congress that the disease indeed exists. When that day happens, big pharmaceutical companies will invent a pill, spend billions on television commercials, and eventually you shall be able to take off work or school because your SASRS was acting up. Otherwise, the only treatment for SASRS is to ask friends, “Do you know the Least?” This is not a cure, but actually just a blatant way to promote our website. Say it often, say it proud.

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